Yeah right! My lips are sealed.

Last Thursday, 22 Tenby Seniors woke to the prospect of a wet and windy day and so it turned out to be, from midday onwards. Every single one of them walked round with a smug smile as they recovered from three days spent playing golf - well, hitting golf balls - along the coastal scenery of the Lleyn peninsular.

They may have escaped the rain, but they were unable to avoid the gusty blasts that buffeted them on all three days spent on the Porthmadog, Nefyn and Pwllheli courses, respectively.

Before anyone had hit a ball in anger, Tony Morgan was pestering the group to indicate how many balls would be lost over the three days, and the guesses ranged from 42 to 180-plus. Derek Bath was the nearest, his estimate of 97 was only seven under the actual total of 104. He's been on so many tours he had to be close.

As was expected due to the time of year, the course conditions varied and on Porthmadog and Pwllheli the group encountered tree-lined, parkland conditions along with links holes. The Nefyn course was located on the cliff-top with no trees in sight. Unfortunately the group were unable to play the challenging headland holes due to damage caused by the winter storms. The greens on the Porthmadog were somewhat bumpy and slow, but the other two courses had been able to improve theirs with early preparation.

The highest score of the three days was 35, while the lowest was nine. Two players scored below 10 points, while a meagre nine players managed 30 or more. In between, reflecting the difficulties encountered, a further 14 scored less than 20 points and 40 scores were recorded in the 20s.

Richard Chapman arrived nursing a cracked rib, but was determined to make the most of his three days. The pain was noticeable when he drove the very first hole. He did manage two rounds, but decided on the last day to walk around encouraging the rest of the group. They needed it.

Two other casualties were Maurice Lewis and Bill Davies. On the first and last days they suffered dry throats and had to return to the clubhouse to take on board extra 'cups of tea'.

On the first day, Newman Vincent proved the hardiest and most consistent senior (32 pts), closely followed by Paul Bradley (31) and Jeff Banfield (31).

The difficulties of undulating dunes and windy conditions should not have been a problem for Tenby members, but the unfamiliarity of the terrain proved impossible for some.

One down - two to go and the group made their way to the Nanhoron Arms Hotel. Ray Ford thought he might have to find another hotel, as the receptionist did not seem to have his name on the list for a room. Big Al came to the rescue and soon established that the agency had recorded him as R Forward. Crisis avoided!

Here they enjoyed excellent food in comfortable surroundings for the next two nights. They were so happy they almost broke into song (Mel Hicks dragged the piano from its hiding place in a room beside the bar). The non vocalists disappeared to watch the football in another bar.

The broad, undulating, Nefyn course was made more of a challenge by the incessant wind, but thankfully no rain. Some seniors had difficulty in keeping their head still and focusing on a blurry ball, but everyone managed to complete the course.

Jim Moffat found himself in trouble on the 12th; he hooked his first drive over the bank into a field on the left and repeated the shot with his second. Not wanting to lose a ball, he hopped onto the fence post to gain access and ended up on his back over the bank on the barbed wire as the post gave way under him. He came out with three balls and grazed fingers.

Alan Watts fared better when he holed his second shot on the par four eighth hole for an eagle.

Top dog for the day, however, was Chris Sierwald with an impressive 35 points, the highest score over the three days. Jeff Banfield was second with 33, followed by Des Stone on 31.

Back at the hotel there was much discussion over the positioning of the yellow tees on the seventh hole. While this was going on, a phone call was received from the golf club apologising for the absence of yellow tees on the said hole. Problem solved.

The wind was even more of a problem as the group set off on the Pwllheli course. The first six holes were played through avenues of trees which provided some shelter but posed a different problem as a number had to play out from unfamiliar situations.

The exposure of the back nine, however, was a testing situation for all players, with much grinding of teeth and the odd expletive.

Alan Watts led his group down what they thought was the third hole and was somewhat puzzled by the increase in yardage on his SatNav. On reaching the green, they realised that they had played the sixth, not the third, and had to retrace their steps to resume their round.

Ray Ford lost the balance of his round when he realised that he had forgotten to change into his golf shoes and could do nothing to rectify the situation until his group had reached the seventh, close to the car park.

Mel Neale suffered a bout of bleeding when he tried to head butt a tree branch while in search of a ball. (Keep your head down, Mel).

The second two of the tour was scored on the par three 11th hole, again by Alan Watts, scooping all the prize money in that pot.

Ken Gouldsborough was top dog for the day with 28 points, followed by Mel Neale (25 ) and Des Stone (25).

Everyone was pleased to return to the shelter of the clubhouse, only to find Maurice and Bill taking on board even more coffee!

Following a feast of chips and other fare, captain Alan Watts complimented everyone on completing the three days and supporting the organisers. He then presented the winners and runners-up with golf balls for their success. Mel Hicks received the trophy for least successful score, while Jeff Banfield was presented with the overall winner's trophy. His total of 89 poins surpassed that of Paul Bradley (84) and Chris Sierwald (82).

In receiving his trophy, Jeff echoed the group's feelings when he congratulated and thanked Alan and Tony Morgan for the hard work in making the three days a success.

Apologies for the anticipation of secrets and intrigue, but this group of seniors are well past the stage of wild cavorting and unruly behaviour. They just needed to rest up and recover ready for the next day - well most did.

D.S.