After the cancellation of last Tuesday's game, everybody was delighted that the weather was Springlike on January 10. Forty seniors enjoyed a warm morning with just a splash of rain and a wind that seemed more like a zephyr after the recent gales.

After the merest soupcon of confusion about who was playing with whom in the last few matches, the fourth qualifying eclectic got under way from two tees, and the 14 groups spaced themselves quite evenly around the links.

I formed the impression that some players were still suffering from the excesses of Christmas and the New Year. Waistlines bulged, steps lacked spring and the urge to post a good score was at times overtaken by the seductive alternative of a comfortable chair and a cool pint in the clubhouse.

Scoring was very much like the curate's egg - good in parts! There was a difference of 29 points between the best and worst cards.

As usual, when the players returned to the clubhouse they were first ambushed by Brian Morgan and relieved of £1 for the charity raffle. Brian announced that the winner of the last raffle in 2011 was the popular past captain Stan Hudson.

And so to the results:

In fourth place with 37 points was Richard Davies, who is playing extremely well considering that he is still convalescing from surgery. Richard won £2

Third, with 38 points, was the consistent Brian Diment, who is richer by £5.

Claiming second place with 38 points, but with a better inward nine holes was Mel Neale - again! This result boosted Mel's pocket money by £7.

Finally, top spot was claimed yet once more by the very in-form Allen Watts with a 39-point round. Allen won a tidy £10 - which he immediately donated to Brian Morgan as the prize for this week's raffle. What an exceedingly nice bloke our Kiwi treasurer is!

At first, there were three 2s recorded, Brian Morgan on the sixth and Bob Howse on the 12th, both winning £2. The third on the printout read 'Hole 5 - Meurig Jones'. Captain Jim started to congratulate Meurig on this fine result, but was soon made aware that due to either a human or an electronic glitch, the two referred to the points scored and not the strokes taken. Good try Meurig - better luck next time!

At this point, I was going to liaise with our secretary, Jeff Bamfield, concerning some advance publicity for forthcoming events. This was not possible because Jeff is currently basking in the tropical sunshine on a beach in the Bahamas. This has caused me to be overcome by a fit of jealousy and I am having a serious sulk. 'Bahamas Bamford' will just have to wait until I get over it - so there!

Next Tuesday we are waltzing!

See you there!

M.F.

Rabbits shot down by Divots

The annual Divots v Rabbits clash took place last Sunday morning with a shotgun start at 8 am - the time that some of us are still in bed, but those who were up and out were treated to a lovely dry January morning, ideal for golf.

Rabbits captain, Tim, having had three late call-offs on the Saturday, managed to get replacements for them all, but still had his back against the wall, unlike one who still had his back against the mattress (his name will remain anonymous for the time being), but it meant forfeiture of his match against Paul James due to the chosen format of Chapman Foursomes.

So, even before getting onto the course, the Rabbits were one down in the match.

Out of eight pairs per team, only two of the Rabbits pairs suceeded in winning and one of those had a combined age of 140-odd years, and they beat the current club captain, but we can't mention that... ooops already have!

One match was also halved, leaving the final result as Divots five-and-a-half to the Rabbits' two-and-a-half.

Congratulations to Paul and his team and may I thank Richard (Percy) and Jim for our match which Paul and myself thoroughly enjoyed and we all look forward to 2013 for our next encounter.

Your Scribe

Captain cleans up Chickens!

The Chicken Trotters returned from the excesses of Christmas and the New Year on January 6 to demonstrate their mastery of the links yet again.

Twelve chickens trotted, all hoping to swell their wallets from the huge prize fund controlled by Chief Chicken Mickey Johnston and allocated - very generously - by the Trotters 2iC Steve Cole. The day dawned dry, chilly, but not too windy, and all the players enjoyed their outing.

The results were as follows:

The winner, with 30 points and earning a less than generous £1.20 along with a cruel and heartless handicap reduction of five shots was club captain, David Blackmore.

A close second, also with 30 points, but just losing out on count-back over the last three holes, was the incredibly young Paul Davies. Paul received a trifling £1 and a savage slash of three strokes.

Both David and Paul played very well to score 30 points over 15 holes. It was a close run thing, but David's birdie two on the 6th, coupled with finishing his round with a three on the 13th, a five on the 14th and a six on the last, helped him to pip Paul at the post.

There were two 2s, each earning a ludicrous 30p, the slightly disappointed recipients being David Blackmore (sixth hole) and John Hancock (12th hole). Early bird John deserves a mention for his dogged persistence and refusal to crumple under the pressure of having to play off a trotter handicap of just four due to his earlier successes.

Low man on the totem pole this week was Doug Havard. Doug was sad to have the day's lowest score - and not exactly over the moon when he received a paltry 30p! However, the addition of two strokes to his trotter handicap as a consolation prize was a pleasant surprise.

Not content with hogging the majority of the trotters' corn this week, our publicity hungry captain was involved in a seagull related incident on the 12th. Apparently, the Herring Gull in question picked up his ball from the back of the green and rolled it back down the bank towards the hole - not once, but twice! Failing to pot it, the bird became bored and flew off with ball in beak, finally dropping it on the 13th fairway. We have since had reports of David being seen training the said bird to judge distance and direction more accurately!

Hopefully, more birdies today!

See you there!

M.F.