Richard and captain Tim take the cash while bracken baffles Buller

Fourteen intrepid Divots assembled on Sunday for the 7.45 am draw.

A strong bitterly cold Easterly wind made scoring difficult on bumpy greens.

Captain Tim Davies underwent intensive retraining during the week as promised and managed to avoid a repeat of the previous week five-putt.

In fact, with the help of a very impressive performance by one handicap Richard Morton, Tim and Richard came in with a winning better ball score of 38 points, a full seven points worse than the winning score seven days earlier.

Peter Hughes was in the second four ball.

Peter has a number of alter egos and can often be heard arguing with them as he makes his way around the golf course.

He needed to put in a scorecard for handicap purposes, so had to complete every hole.

On the eighth hole, he sliced his third shot which then got blown into the bracken next to the boundary fence.

We think he was Buller when playing the next shot and we watched in fascination as he made one attempt after another to get the ball out of the bracken and onto the green.

His partner for the day had already scored a five for two points, so we moved on to the eighth tee and watched as Buller continued in his flailing attempts to get the ball back in play, along with a running commentary to his alter egos.

His 10th attempt finally got the ball onto the green and two putts later secured him a 15 for the hole.

A nine on the 10th hole secured a score to increase his handicap by one-tenth of a stroke.

One of Peter’s other alter egos is ‘Mad Pierre’, the French onion seller. When he wears his beret, he certainly looks the part, especially when he indulges in his incessant rambling.

After a round well over 100 strokes, ‘Mad Pierre’ realised he needed another way to supplement his meagre income and was photographed trying to sell onions to gullible tourists by the 18th green.

The players in the second and third fourballs found the pace of play so slow that they decided to have a ‘facial hair competition’ to see who could grow the longest hair by the time they got into the clubhouse.

The winner had a better moustache than the bloke who does the ‘Go Compare’ advert.

Jampot was so worked up at the pace of play that he rushed his putt on the seventh and missed it, but he was not the one holding up play, it was the four ball in front!

Full English was playing in the first three ball and walked in after 14 holes to meet his wife for lunch before the lunch service ended.

We need to get around the course quicker or the Rabbits will be stacking up behind us with ears and tails flapping.

Granted

‘Cheeky and disrespectful’ is how some people have described the couple of paragraphs ‘the other lot’ who play on Sunday mornings put into this fine paper last week, writes our Bletchley Park-trained operative, Warren Hacker.

Anonymously over-exaggerating poor captain Tim’s three putt on the third is not the way to build up morale for their battle next month against the Rabbits - poor show chaps!

Now, dear reader, the ‘other lot’ try their best to maintain their inflated golfing egos by chickening out from suggested singles matches and try to ignore the 9/10ths rule, but we’ll see who comes out on top on the 4BB yellow course grudge match on January 8.

Ten Rabbits took to the course this week to try to clamber up the Winter League ladder. Heavily clothed against the cold easterly (off the beach!), the first group - captain Martin Durham, Steve Cole and the returning Tom Watkins - set off, but Tom’s recent inactivity on the course held his score back somewhat.

Eagerly following on their heels were treasurer Mark Edwards, Mackie Harts and Steve Watkins. Rear-enders were John Ball, our league lleader Grant Watkins, Peter Turton and Phil Carpenter.

And how did the scores go, we hear you ask?

Bringing up the rear were one from each group (no names!), but everyone managed over a point a hole, so well done! Battling onto the podium were bronze placed Steve Watkins, silver placed Steve Cole (who got his entrance fee back) and Top Rabbit (for the third week out of seven) was Grant, who now leads by 14.

In the Eclectic battle, John, Phil and the Steves failed to improve their scores. Those who did get better were Mark, Martin, Mackie and Grant (all by one hole), Peter (2) and Tom (four holes), but Grant is still second on the back nine! Some think it’s better not knowing on the tee you need to par the hole to improve, though!

We’re almost at the half-way stage, so there’s plenty of time for everyone to improve.

It’s the Dilwater Shield competition for high/low pairings next week, so we’ll find out the final winners of 2016.

Now, dear reader, is the answer ‘Yes’?

Christmas competitions

The club’s popular Turkey Trot competitions continue tomorrow (Saturday), with the annual Christmas Spirits tournament - a Stableford event off the white boxes.

That will be followed next weekend by a four ball better ball competition, while there are also events to look out for over the Christmas and New Year period, including a Christmas Jumpers Charity Stableford, a Texas Scramble and the annual Three Clubs and a Putter competition.

FROZEN CHICKENS

Please check out the photograph of the course on the morning of Friday, December 2, and count how many Chicken Trotters you can see……

Exactly! – None!

And that is because the course was closed, a very sensible decision to prevent damage to the turf. So we all went home!

Well most did, although I understand that there were a couple of die-hards who were spotted honing their game with a couple of hours of practice on the range. No names, no pack drill, but we wonder if the benefits will be seen today (Friday), when we are guaranteed more excitement - well maybe.

M.F.

Twenty years of Trotting

It may have been showery and quite cold on October 25, 1996, but nothing could dampen the enthusiasm of the 46 Chicken Trotters who competed for the coveted Roger and Mary Trophy!

As a sideline to the main competition, David Leeke, Ken Gouldsbrough, Denzil Thomas and Tony Morris all scored twos on hole nine and earned a paltry 50p each. The battle for the silverware (?) proceeded as follows:

In seventh place - Steve Sharma and Des Wickland scored 30 points and won nothing at all! Sixth place went to Keith Jones with 31 points, and he won £1.30. Spike Evans and Peter Bennett both pocketed £1.50 for their 32 points and claimed joint fourth place, while Alan Paice’s 34 points propelled him into third place and earned him £2. In second place with 35 points, Paul Bradley won £2.50 - and the champion golfer - winning the trophy and £2.50 was David Owen.

The last of the money to change hands was the 30p awarded to Keith Hine, whose 16 points slid him into Booby position.

All of the contestants went on to enjoy a sausage and mash lunch, and 45 of them breathed a sigh of relief!

Ladies’ boost for Paul Sartori Foundation

The Paul Sartori Foundation was chosen as the charity of the year 2015-2016 for the ladies team at Tenby Golf Club.

Pictured in the attached is Liz Storey, president 2016, Toni Dorkings, community fundraiser, Paul Sartori, Irene Gilman, ladies captain 2015/2016, and Sarah Waring, ladies committee.

The funds were raised by a series of raffles, a variety of competitions and the main event was the lady captain’s charity day held in October.

Toni Dorkings said: “We are extremely grateful to the ladies of Tenby Golf Club for this donation of £2,225. What a fantastic amount raised. Thank you to everyone involved.”

The Paul Sartori Foundation provides a range of services to people living in the final stages of a life-limiting illness, including home nursing care, equipment loan, standby service (for people who do not yet need hands-on care, but are given access to other services), complementary therapy, bereavement and counselling support, clinical nurse specialist in palliative care, physiotherapy, advance care planning and training.

The services provided by the Foundation enable people who are living in the later stages of any life limiting illness to die at home if that is their wish, with dignity, independence, pain free and surrounded by those they hold most dear.

Further information on the charity and its services can be obtained by visiting their website www.paulsartori.org, or by ’phoning 01437 763223.

Twenty years of Trotting

It may have been showery and quite cold on October 25, 1996, but nothing could dampen the enthusiasm of the 46 Chicken Trotters who competed for the coveted Roger and Mary Trophy!

As a sideline to the main competition, David Leeke, Ken Gouldsbrough, Denzil Thomas and Tony Morris all scored twos on hole nine and earned a paltry 50p each. The battle for the silverware (?) proceeded as follows:

In seventh place - Steve Sharma and Des Wickland scored 30 points and won nothing at all! Sixth place went to Keith Jones with 31 points, and he won £1.30. Spike Evans and Peter Bennett both pocketed £1.50 for their 32 points and claimed joint fourth place, while Alan Paice’s 34 points propelled him into third place and earned him £2. In second place with 35 points, Paul Bradley won £2.50 - and the champion golfer - winning the trophy and £2.50 was David Owen.

The last of the money to change hands was the 30p awarded to Keith Hine, whose 16 points slid him into Booby position.

All of the contestants went on to enjoy a sausage and mash lunch, and 45 of them breathed a sigh of relief!

Gents December Monthly Medal

Eighty players entered the Gents December Monthly Medal, being split equally between the two divisions.

Leading scores and prize winners were as follows:

Division One: 1. Richard Morton 74-1-73, on countback (medal plus £43); 2. Harrison Duckett 79-6-73, on countback (£32.50); 3. Martin Morris 82-9-73 (£21.50); 4. Graham More 78-4-74, on countback (£11).

Division Two: 1. Neil Webb 84-15-69 (medal plus £43); 2. Colin Duffield 90-15-75 (£32.50); 3. Andrew North 94-17-77, on countback (£21.50); 4. Michael Anthony, on countback 98-21-77 (£11).

Twos: Nick Allen, Allan Morton, Phillip Rees, Dave Morris, Richard Morton, John Ball, Stephen Maytum, David Blackmore (£10 each).

Bag draw: Paul James, Phil Carpenter, Steve Cole, Stan Hudson, Steve Court (£15.80 each).

Pro Shop draw: Colin Duffield (Glenmuir sweater).

Changes to handicap: Michael Argent 19 to 20; Andrew Cope 5 to 6; Lee Lewis 8 to 9; Gary McNeilly 11 to 10; Graham More 4 to 3; Dave Morris 1 to 0; Andrew North 17 to 16; David John Rees 18 to 19; Phillip Rees 5 to 6; Darren Thomas 7 to 6; Neil Webb 15 to 13.

HOWSE THAT?

Tuesday, December 6, and much milder weather for the Seniors’ seventh eclectic competition of the Winter season. Thirty-four mature gentlemen presented themselves for the tournament, six of them would remember the morning with great pleasure, while the other 28 would have memories of missed opportunities, lost balls and a general lack of excellence.

The seven successful senórs were:

Four accurate scorers of an elusive two, all on the sixth hole; Jeff Banfield, Richard Davies, Peter Hart and Jim Moffatt - treasurer Stan Hudson rewarded them with fairly adequate sums of cash as captain Dudley called their names.

Dudley then informed the expectant gathering that the third best player of the day was Richard Davies, with a very commendable 41 points, playing off a 14 handicap - Richard lowered his handicap by a stroke, but picked up more money from Stan!

The second best performer was retired RAF officer Chris Sierwald - still flying high with an excellent 42 points while playing off 28. Chris exhibited great self control as he accepted his prize money - and a savage slash of two shots from his handicap - but the wide smile may take a few days to wear off.

The Top Man this week, with a really outstanding 44 points while bearing the burden of a 16 handicap, was past Seniors’ captain Bob Howse. Noble in victory and stoic in his acceptance of a two-shot drop to 14, Bob received a fine round of applause as Stan showered him with beef flavoured fivers!

You will, I’m sure, have been counting the winners listed above, and realised that we have reached the total of six - but wait - Peter Hart was not content to merely pocket the prize for a two, he also had the winning number in the charity raffle and won another £10 to fritter away on golf balls and lottery tickets! You will see from the photograph that he was mildly pleased.

M.F.