I had mixed feelings last week. On the one hand I was thrilled to be told that 'God had heard our prayers' and restored a severely sick person to health again. He had been close to death but he is now at home, and although he is not fully recovered the lasting damage is minimal, and there is every reason to hope that that he will soon be back to normal. Best of all, I was informed, he was but one of three (including a dog) who were now OK because God had answered our prayers.

But a little later that day, I discovered that at about the time I had received that news another friend had died. That was a devastating piece of news, both for his family and for all his friends who have been praying fervently for his recovery following an accident a week or so ago.

He was a Christian (in fact he was a pastor) which means we have every reason to believe he is now in His Lord's presence awaiting the day of resurrection. But that does not, nor should it take away the sense of grief we all feel. As the apostle Paul once said: "We grieve yet not without hope."

All of this raised an 'old chestnut': why did God hear some prayers, but apparently turn his face away when faced with others? For we all know that this is a common experience. Anyone who has ever prayed has had to come to terms with the whole question of what some say is 'unanswered prayer'.

I have had to deal with this issue many times over the years, and it seems to me that we need to remember certain things when it comes to prayer. To begin with we must never suggest that what might be called 'success' is in any way related to the quality of our lives or the strength of our faith. I know someone who was miraculously healed of cancer (her consultant verified it) but she is only too willing to admit that it occurred when her faith was at its lowest and her witness was at its weakest.

In the same way we must never think that we can dictate to God. We can ask, we can plead, but in the end He is the one that 'calls the shots' not us. Now that can sound pretty callous. Indeed, Thomas Hardy once suggested that God plays games with us, and there are times when you can see why he said that. In fact his pessimism might make sense but for the fact that God has given us convincing proof that He loves us, and that we can trust him even in the darkest of times.

At moments like this, I often think of another friend. He was a pastor too. Tragically, he lost a child at the age of seven, and like anyone else in his situation, he found it difficult to move on. But as he sat in his study wondering what he might say to his church the following Sunday, he found himself reflecting on something Jesus once said to his disciples. John remembers it like this: "You do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

Faith, as someone once says can sometimes mean 'hanging on in there' when things simply don't seem to make sense at all. Christians have exercised that kind of faith for centuries and for one simple reason: they have put their trust in a man who has conquered death and who has assured them that one day it will all make sense.

In the meantime, we keep on praying too because He is clearly capable of doing the most incredible things when we do.

Rob James is Pastor of Westgate Evangelical Chapel Pembroke. He is also chair of Evangelical Alliance Wales and a member of its National Council. He can be contacted at [email protected]">[email protected]