Full of keen anticipation, Trotters’ secretary Steve Cole and I drove to the club on the morning of Friday, October 7, quite unsure as to how many players would turn up for the first trot of the 2016 - 2017 season. The car park had more spaces than cars, but as we rolled up to the locker room, it was really reassuring to see a solitary John Hancock on the first tee - having already driven - berating us for being late - it was 07:40 for God’s sake!

So, rush to get ready, dash to drive and speed to slice! - the first hole was more like Speedway than Stableford, but things did improve. It was quite a pleasant morning, a bit nippy around the extremities and the wind became a bit of a nuisance later on, but the course was in great condition and we even had a glimpse of the October sun.

Back in the clubhouse and fortified by a bacon bap from Lee’s epicurean hands, it was pleasing to see that 12 Chickens had trotted - well actually 11 - but Royston Morgan, who returned after a long absence intending just to play a few practice holes, was bullied into submitting a card and splashing out 30p entrance fee. In an unusual burst of generosity, the secretary awarded Roy a special prize for attendance!

So, playing off their own unique Chicken Trotter handicaps, and using cards that have a different order of stroke indices, the inhabitants of the winner’s enclosure were:

In fourth place with a competent 25 points, winning nothing and losing no strokes, the current Veterans Cup holder and Editor of this fine tabloid - Neil Dickinson.

In third place, also scoring 25 points, but blossoming on the back six, David Lamb pocketed 50p and dropped his handicap by one stroke for his next two trots.

Smoothly sliding into second slot, our splendid secretary Steve Cole awarded himself 80p for scoring 27 points, and deducted three strokes from his already meagre Trotters’ handicap for his next two rounds.

A similar 27 points, but a superior second half, elevated Ken Gouldsbrough to the top of the Chicken pile and helped to finance his forthcoming Australia trip to the tune of £1. The penalty for this huge reward is a savage handicap cut of five shots to welcome Ken on his return.

Finally, someone has to bring up the rear, and this week it was that genial gentleman, Newman Vincent. Newman accepted his 30p consolation prize and increase of two shots graciously, promising to improve on his next outing.

And finally, our Chief Trotter Mickey Johnston is quite poorly. He is out of hospital and being looked after at home by his son and daughter, but is sadly too frail to manage a trip to the club. The Trotters all signed a Get Well Card for Mickey, and that wish is echoed here in the column that he always reads.

And that is it for this week, hopefully the weather will be splendid next Friday and the course will be full of Chickens scratching for corn! See you there!

20 YEARS OF TROTTING

I thought it would be interesting to look back to the 1996/1997 season of the Chicken Trotters, to see how the section fared in those days. Today we can scrutinise the first trot of the 1996 winter season, which took place on Friday, September 6.

On that fine, but windy morning, 62 - yes 62! - Chickens trotted out onto the links, actually outnumbering the players in the next morning’s Saturday morning medal - those were the days!

There are lots of familiar names among the winners. How many do you recognise?

First with 41 points - Cyril Irish, who won £2.50, joint second with 36 points - Ian Kirkby and Daryl John, winning £2 each. Bill Davies claimed fourth place with 33 points, which was worth £1.80, while Alan Paice shared fifth spot with Elwyn Evans on 31 points, both pocketing £1.50. Thirty points was enough for Ken Gouldsbrough and John Y. Phillips to share position seven and receive £1.30 each.

There were two 2s. Vince Shaw deuced the 12th hole, while Peter Williams’s two on the 15th was either an excellent eagle - or the hole was being temporarily played as a par three. Both these accurate Trotters received £1.50.

Holding up the rest of the field was Keith Woodbridge, whose less than sparkling 16 points earned him a paltry 30p - but added two strokes to his Trotter handicap in the hope that he would improve his position next week - we shall see!

I’m sure many of us remember 1996 - the year when Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher opened the M25, and Alex Ferguson was appointed manager of Manchester United. More next week.

M.F.