Friday December 16 - the final Chicken Trotter outing of 2016, and a very pleasant morning it turned out to be, well, for some! Weather-wise the feathered fraternity fared fairly well, it was frostless, rainless, fogless and almost windless, so the 11 Trotters who participated had every chance of making a good score - did they do it? - read on.

Allen Watts didn’t do it, he scored 25 points off a shockingly small handicap, and finished in a prizeless, penaltyless fourth place. Neil Dickinson didn’t do it either, his 27 points put him in third place, winning him a paltry 60p and temporarily reducing his handicap to 26. Stan Hudson, on his first outing of the season, nearly did it by scoring 27 points, but it wasn’t enough and he finished up in second place, richer by a whole 90p, and dropping his handicap to 10 for two rounds. Who did do it? - well it was Geoff Aston with 29 points who claimed first place, winning £1.20 and a coveted certificate, but slipping down five strokes to a 23 handicap. This result makes Geoff the leader in the Booker Prize competition - but only by a narrow margin from Steve Cole - who marks the cards!

Well done to the leaders, all of them beat the CSS which was 23 Stableford points. No twos were recorded, and the pathetic score of 14 points was low enough for Mike Fox to be awarded the dreaded ‘Booby’ prize - still, 30p is 30p and the two additional strokes may re-vitalise his sagging performance!

I sincerely trust, dear reader, that my cunning title didn’t slip past un-noticed, the ‘ONS’ in question being, of course, AstON, HudsON and DickinsON - I believe I can hear the faint sound of applause even as I read today’s Observer!

And finally, Roger Scholfield - last year’s winner of the prestigious Roger and Mary Trophy should be polishing it vigorously, ready to pass it on to the next winner of the competition - which I once more remind you is on Friday, January 6, 2017. Names on the board chaps, there are still a few places left.

May I wish my reader a very happy Christmas, and for the New Year; fewer bunkers, less bogies and more birdies!

M.F.

‘Wizard of Id’ strikes two weeks in a row

Two Sundays ago Idwal David was paired with Viv James.

Viv in recent weeks has been the backstop in the Wednesday Roll Up, regularly doing the ‘Walk of Shame’ for the worst score on the day.

On this day, Idwal was so inspiring that Viv just could not stop making pars.

They took the money with an incredible 45 points, well clear of the competition.

Last Sunday, the Wizard of Id was at work again, paired ‘blind’ with Loz Phillips in a different three ball. Idwal managed to score sufficiently well on enough holes to once again win the prize money, despite Loz having a nightmare round, making his first par on the 14th hole.

Jerry was reunited with his long lost twin.

They were separated at birth and his twin flew over from Gnomeville in the USA for a very special get-together.

The photo is of Jerry, his twin and skip Tim Davies; the family resemblance is uncanny.

The next Divots get-together will be for the annual Rabbit Stuffing on January 8.

The current motley Rabbits crew are pool A divisional champions.

There is some concern in the Divots camp that they make a match of it this time, but not to worry, as plans are being made.

The skipper has arranged for toasted sandwiches to be available on the morning of the match with various fillings.

He heard somewhere that ‘mixing me toasties’ was not good for Rabbits.

If that fails, there is to be a shotgun start. They think that means all starting at the same time, but on different tees, but we have a different, more literal interpretation. We only need two more shotguns and we can take them all out at the same time. Anyone prepared to lend them to us? They are classed as vermin after all and the course will be in better nick afterwards.

Twenty years of Trotting

Elsewhere on this page is last week’s Chicken Trotter report, when 11 Chickens trotted. In stark contrast, 20 years ago on November 15, 1996 - 66 gentlemen pitted their skills against the Tenby links.

Twelve of these players were rewarded for their performances, and they were:

In eighth place with 32 points - George Jenkins, Sonny Perkins and Alun Jones.

In sixth place with 33 points - Des Wickland and David George.

In third place with3 4 points - Jack Hasdell, Alan Paice and David John.

In second place with 39 points - Mike Fox.

Top of the shop with 40 points - David Owen

The solitary two of the day was scored by Mike Hale.

The dreaded Booby prize was awarded to Chan Thomas.

The ledger reports that the weather was fine and that the par for the day was 34. The Chief Trotter of the day was obviously a generous man, the records show Trotter handicaps of 34, 33, 32 and a few 31s. At the other end of the scale, John Hancock was playing off four - harsh!

M.F.

Robin’s cracker

Merrily marching up the first went Winter League leader Grant Watkins, alongside Chris Smith and last year’s Rabbits captain, Robin Bradbury, writes our links reporter, Warren Hacker.

Eagerly following them went Rabbits treasurer, Mark Edwards, Rabbits secretary Peter Turton, with Phil Carpenter and Steve Watkins.

Rolling along behind them went Rabbits captain Martin Durham, Mackie Harts, Paul Crawford and Steve Cole.

Reasonably benign conditions meant the Rabbits - returning to the Winter League contest after the pairs comp last week - had the chance to boost their aggregate scores, and possibly their eclectic.

Yuletide pleasantries will be a thing of the past the next time the Rabbits take to the links on a Sunday (January 8) when they have their crunch match against ‘the other lot who play on a Sunday’.

Christmas over-indulgences are banned by Rabbits captain Martin because he wants his troops in peak physical condition as he hopes to ensure that now the golf rules allow less restrictive handicap allowances, he will lead his men to possible victory. Hopes are high in the underdogs camp - after all we’ve had a few ‘upsets’ - Leicester, Brexit and Trump to name but three - so this January could see the word ‘Rabbits’ engraved on the shield if the Golfing Gods are on our side.

Returning to the events of this week, the ‘almost dozen’ gathered on the settees to hear the results read out loud, in time-honoured reverse order.

It had been a ‘twos rollover’ from a fortnight ago, but the 33 par three attempts this week were unsuccessful and it will rollover to January 15, so it’ll be worth turning up that week!

Sitting just outside the podium placings was the current league second placer - Steve C - on 36, just behind Steve W on 38, who grabbed the bronze place, so that’s three thirds now.

The silver place went to Phil with a decent 41 (that’s his second 2nd), but that was one less than Robin managed as he topped the pile for the second time in three weeks and he lurks menacingly in the lower end of the table as he’s only been out on half of the eight weeks so far.

Mark (1), Peter (3), Mackie (3), Steve C (2), Steve W (3), Phil (2) and Robin (6) all managed to improve their eclectic scores - as did Paul, but he improved by 14 as he’d only played once before!

All that means that at the halfway stage Grant has a seven-point lead in the ‘best eight scores to count’ Winter League (with several players yet to play eight), but Steve C has a two-point advantage in the eclectic and it’s all to play for with only a couple of months remaining!

So as you can see by looking at the first letters of each sentence there’s a festive message for everyone!

Ladies’ Section

Only three Thursday competitions were played in November - at the beginning of the month an 18-hole Greensome was won by Gill John and Anne Wilks with Marion Clarke and Liz Storey runners-up.

In the GUW Medal, Carol Beecher and Pat Fox both played to their handicaps, but Carol was the winner on last nine countback. In the nine-hole competition, Louise Hill just beat Angie Gottwaltz.

The last competition in the month was an 18-hole team of three ‘Waltz’ competition in which Anna Hubbard, Penny Cope and Carol Beecher won from Olivia Bradbury, Nesta Hart and Helen Hughes on the last nine,with both teams scoring 63 points.

The rest of December has been devoted to Turkey Trots with the main thoughts being the festivities over Christmas. On December 4, Heather Morgan had the leading score, with Angie Gottwaltz runner-up. On the 8th, Fair Ball scored 38 points, while Louise Hill scored 32. Last week, Sue Shooter scored 29, with Heather Morgan also on 29 and Trevayne Keohane on 28.

May I wish everyone a happy Christmas and a happy and healthy 2017 with a successful golfing year.

B.M.S.

Good scoring

in final Christmas Turkey Trot

Forty pairs entered the last Turkey Trot before Christmas on Saturday, the competition being a four ball better ball stableford over 14 holes.

Conditions on the day were excellent for golf and leading scores and prize winners were as follows:

1. Stephen Cole and Neil Dickinson 35 pts (£40 Heywoods meat voucher each); 2. Austin Davies and Cameron Jnr Davies 34 (£34 each); 3. Piers Bradbury and Vivian John 33, on countback (£22.50 each); 4. Tim Edwards and Ralphn Johns 33, on countback (£11.50 each); 5. Grant Watkins and Stephen Watkins 33 (£5 each).

Twos: Robert Willcox, Tim Edwards, Jeffrey Haley, Luke Harries, Lewis Hurlow (£15.80 each).

Bag draw: Alan James, Steve Maytum, Luke Harries, Phil Goodridge, Mark Edwards (£15.60 each).

Pro Shop draw: Tim Poole (suit carrier).

Festive competitions

There are no competitions at the club this weekend, but next Wednesday, December 28, a Mixed Charity Greensomes Stableford will be held, while on New Year’s Eve, Saturday, December 31, there’s a New Year 14-Hole Texas Scramble for any combination of teams.