In the most benevolent February conditions imaginable, the Rabbits played the 13th matches of their winter league. There are now only two matches to go and there is deadlock at both the top and bottom of the league.
Colin Smith and Ian Thomas have a slender advantage at the top, just one point; and your reporter noted a creeping nervousness in their demeanour last Sunday. The history of the Rabbits records many falls at the last fence with the prospect of greatness plucked from the very fingertips on the last putt on the last green. Then there are the victory speeches at the banquet. No little thing.
Just below them are Dave Moran and Simon Evans, vultures whirling there up in the sky. Waiting a hiccup. Their talons and beaks eager for flesh. Whilst Mike Anthony and John Stevenson, snakes in the grass, wait ready to bite.
Just who will be victors it is anybody's guess. The world awaits. Sky television have recorded the rights.
At the foot still are Ronald Francis-Murphy and Stephen Harries with five points. Each point gained through shear grit. Both fighters and determined to gather more points. Above them, David Morgan and Gordon Glaves, one point clear, unable to rest at night. Great players they are, but the one point cushion is not enough with two matches to go. They have started a period of sleeplessness. Pity for their wives. Nightmares with wooden spoons their vision. Life at the foot of the Rabbits League may be under-world in Tenby; though gold medal beyond.
And so it came to pass on Sunday last, that Simon Evans and Dave Moran were up against the venerable pair of Peter Watkins and Tom McLean, a pair of the bonniest fighters the world has ever seen. Regrettably their last fight appeared to be about the year when William the Conqueror visited these shores and poor Peter and Tom crumbled. The score never to be recorded. Simon and Dave were awesome and there they swirl, up in the skies, waiting, waiting, waiting.
Fred Adlam and Brian Dooley have climbed to fifth in the table, albeit on alphabetical order, and are looking good. Their victims this week were Brian Hartley and John Davies after a fast and furious game; the match being decided on the 17th. It must be recorded that no hole in this match was scored in more than par. But Brian Hartley and John Davies have slipped of late after leading the table for so long and with such panache. The current leaders must be aware of their subjection to pressure. It happens to all.
For pressure it is and Colin Smith and Ian Thomas only just came through a searching examination from the Tom Pritchard and John Murcott stable this Sunday. The weather conditions were ideal for Tom Pritchard and he and John Murcott, a sheep herder from New Zealand, were bristling as the Kiwis had just been adjudged the lesser of England in the World Rugby Union rankings. Blood was up and the weather fair, but Colin and Ian toughed it out on the course for a world ranked three and two victory. They now must sit down and draft their league victory speeches. Colin confident. Ian wondering if this is just a dream.
Ronald Francis-Murphy and Stephen Harries managed two good points from a game settled on the settee. Well? Wouldn't you? Clive Law and Jonathon Broome were so utterly petrified by Ronald, who has just gone double barrelled, and Stephen, who shortly will, that they decided to go off to the ballet. "We are not going to play against a couple of poseurs." Sometimes it is best to enjoy life, even if it means a points sacrifice.
On a very small point, Clive Law has gifted his tie to a neckwear manufacturer for copy. The whole Rabbits Society wish to have a replica of Clive's tie. It is ancient, but as Clive says in Regency style, and shortly all Rabbits will be strutting The Croft as Regency Bucks in horse drawn carriages. Footmen at the rear. The Rabbits are stylists, have no doubt.
The vice captain of the Rabbits, Glyn Price, was blessed this week with a Rabbits captain of the past M. H. Evans, a true golfing god. There is no alternative to experience and Dave Morgan and Gordon Glaves could not compete with this. It is doubtful whether anybody could.
Philip Carpenter and Stephen Price were a little too much (on the day) for Peter Moss and George Spain who were charmed out of this one by a slender five and four. A good result for lovers of the good life, spared from the fastness of 'over the line' abstemiousness. Well done these two.
Mike Anthony and John Stevenson have stars in their eyes. They sit a predatorial third in the table waiting to pounce on those above. Probably they had the best golf result of the day in defeating George Pegg and the very highly promising tyro Stephen Watkins by a margin never to be recorded in print. It was all pomp and circumstance for Michael Anthony, a man selected to master the annual prize winning dinner in March. His very elocution has changed. He took a barth instead of a shower. Petting is putting and his witch doctor partner becomes an optometrist spectrician. Oh how place and position has warped the once nice Michael Anthony.
Away last were the fantastic Philips, Watkins and Marsden. The human sacrifices this week were Ray Bowen and Peter Cray. One, Marsden, has just returned from Africa re-discovering the source of the Nile, such is his conceit. He has a good knowledge of Voodoo and Ju Ju, so he says. The Voodoo condemned Peter and Ray. They had lost last Thursday. The Ju Ju will be demonstrated next Sunday when Ian Thomas has agreed to be quartered. You know. Head, trunk and two legs, but he will feel no pain. Revenge for his libellous article in the Tenby Observer last week.
The day closed with an amazing story by the Rabbits leader of an African and his pet snake. All Rabbits were promptly sick in a bucket. Also he sang to the gathering a pseudo Elvis Presely latest release. It was awful.
The Rabbits much regret the return of their leader from Africa.
Glyn Price, the vice captain, is a much safer pair of hands.
The results were: D. Moran and S. Evans bt P. Watkins and T. McLean 6 and 5; F. Adlam and B. Dooley bt B. Hartley and J. Davies 2 and 1; C. Smith and I. Thomas bt T. Pritchard and J. Murcott 3 and 2; R. F. Murphy and S. Harries bt C. Law and J. Broome w.o.; G. J. Price and M. H. Evans bt D. Morgan and G. Glaves 7 and 6; P. Carpenter and S. Price bt P. Moss and G. Spain 5 and 4; M. Anthony and J. Stevenson bt G. Pegg and St. Watkins 7 and 6; P. Marsden and Ph. Watkins bt R. Bowen and P. Cray 3 and 1.