Do you remember the story of the Germans playing football against the British in no-man's-land on Christmas Day during the First World War, or Perestroika? The end of the Iron Curtain? The Berlin Wall coming down? Well to the long list of these wonderful events, could the Divots and Rabbits be seen to be making up?

Late on Saturday night, a request was made to the Divots captain to release former Rabbits captain Bill Beynon to play in the Rabbits' premier event, the Dilwater Shield.

Current Divot captain Nigel Ayers agreed to the release, contrary to the nasty rumours that Bill was asked to spy on the Rabbits players in preparation for the crunch match on January 11. No seven-figure transfer fee was asked for, even if the transfer season doesn't start until April 2009. Your correspondent has even a signed copy of the release forms, with the added remark of... and I quote "I hope Bill and the Rabbits Society have a great Dilwater Shield." This is surely a sign of the season's festive goodwill. Christmas is truly here.

By the way Rabbits... photocopies are available at £5 each. Sorry, Chris, no discounts for past Rabbits captains... well guys, the Divots have to make a few quid somehow!

So, if you want to know how Bill did in the Dilwater Shield, just look at the article, possibly next to this one, written by their highly talented correspondent, Chris Smith, who has recently opened a new knitwear shop making highly visible green pullovers for leprechauns.

With a diminished Divots squad, mainly due to the huge following that was attracted by the Dilwater event, only four pairs ventured out onto the course. Sadly, Nigel had to red card Loz Phillips for turning up late. Perhaps the hotel's early morning call system had malfunctioned.

The captain's challenge this week was to hit the green of the par three 17th, and with only three out of the eight participants doing so, the Divot kitty was £5 up to start with.

So what of the results... well that man Viv James and his partner, captain Nigel, came in with the winning total of 41 points - well done. In second place, Rob Hall and Paul 'Jampot' James had a superb 40 points. Third were Richard Chapman and John Stevenson with 36 and lastly... yes, you've got it... The Walrus and Gareth Phillips, who accumulated 34 points. By the way Gav, one of the lady golfers found your ball behind the ladies' tee on the 14th.

Now this weekend, as last, Nigel will be awarding the winners a Christmas present... a two-way light switch perhaps, or a 45amp MCB shower fuse?

And finally, a reminder to all Divots to wear something festive on Sunday morning... Santa hat, reindeer antlers, Christmas tree lights run off your trolley battery... get the idea... big fine for those that forget... you have been warned!

• Important notice: Divots v Rabbits to be held on January 11, 2009.

Dilwater delight for Steve and Tim

Tenby Rabbits held their annual competition for the Dilwater Shield last Sunday.

The competition is played under their regular winter league rules (Chapman foursomes), but with stableford points, and sees winter league partners and substitutes paired and going the full 18 holes.

The scores were expected to be high as conditions were perfect, although there was a bit of a strange glow around the course! Terry Davies has since been asked by captain Mark Edwards not to wear the rinky dink pink jumper again and maybe tone it down like others!

Out on the course, Macky Harts was in buoyant mood. He had a late replacement for his regular partner Simon Evans -not that Simon is a bad player, quite the opposite, but he hits the ball such a long way that quite often they can't find it. So, for once, Macky was looking forward to keeping his lost ball count down - mind you his partner for the day was witnessed driving some two yards straight into the bushes on the fourth, but to their credit, that was one of the few bad shots all day and they were to come in the placings. And guess what, Macky didn't lose a ball!

Pity the same couldn't be said for ex-captain Chris Smith - he hit a drive all of three yards on the eighth and lost it. At least this week he wasn't throwing his clubs about - well, not as much!

Forget the driving, though. What about the putting, or should I say lack of it.

The pairing of Steve Maytum and Dorian Thomas allegedly had five putts on the 18th and then the ball just literally fell in.

Not to be outdone, Mick Munro, masterfully, some say gracefully, stroked his putt, also on the 18th, only to see it narrowly avoid the cup - should take your time over those 11-inch ones, Mike!

Again we had one of our boys trying to find a way of making the day a little bit more interesting, you know what I mean, a little distraction, as others have tried. Now this bloke normally has enough to occupy himself with his texting, but on Sunday Mick Gillet found a new one.

It goes like this: when you are stood on the fairway, or in his case the rough, wait until your fellow players line up in front of you, only some four yards away, and launch your ball at 'em - last one standing wins. Can be a bit painful, I know, but have you ever seen three grown men line dancing on a golf course? It's funny.

Mind you, it was also good to see our new vice, Mick, doing toast back in the clubhouse, not proposing one, no, just eating some. Just when his captain started his speech, Mick was tucking into his Hartleys on toast... and the crusts had been cut off for him.

So a good day was had by all and all that was left was for Juan Cruz to do his rendition of Jingle Bells, though it wasn't so much ho ho ho, more hee hee hee.

Results: 1. Steve Cole and Tim Jackson, with a great score of 45 pts; 2. Ian Thomas and Macky Harts 41 pts; 3. John Murphy and Gerald Hewitt 39 pts (having a better back nine than Dave Moran and Robin Bradbury, also on 39).

Spinning tops, paper hats and course manager in a buggy...

All of these were in evidence on Tuesday as this grand bunch of seniors enjoyed their last formal competition of the autumn season.

There were few doubting Thomas's, as they looked out on a grey and dismal December morning, wondering if rain would spoil the day. The answer was an emphatic 'No!' and everyone was delighted to see the mist roll back and the sky brighten up as the first groups out made their opening shots in this end of season Texas Scramble.

One who was delighted that the rain held off was Maurice Lewis. In fact, he was upset at the number of seniors who appeared surprised that he was there. He did have Derek Bath and Des Stone to make sure that he completed the round (only 15 holes), even if it did rain.

The course marshal was our own Jim Martin, who availed himself of a spare buggy in order to make sure that the rules were being followed and no-one was being unduly slow. He prowled around providing a one man gallery to each group in turn making sure that everything was in order.

With a great big smile and a loud hi! Philip Marsden accurately summed up this competition by observing what a friendly event the Texas Scramble was. Well he would when he and his team walk in with a good score.

Ray Ford has been mentioned in previous weeks and it seems that he deserves a mention this week. His straight driving helped Brian Morgan, recovering from 'flu, and Dudley Williams to a more than creditable score. He furthered his reputation with two long putts, one on the ninth and the other on the 18th. The score was not enough to win a prize, however. Brian made up for it by re-introducing members to the weekly raffle.

Seniors' captain, Brian Waters, found himself in a two-ball, ably supported by John Charnock. Paul Nixon was unable to be there, but they scored well without him. John was somewhat miffed that Brian outdrove him on a number of holes and had eight of his drives to count against his own seven.

JDR advised Clifton not to lick his ball this week. He had correctly noticed that the greens had been dressed with fertiliser and thought that this might affect his putting. Clifton's quip was that it wasn't putting the ball he had problems with, but putting his socks on in the morning.

So in awe of his partners was JDR that it was only after he had his four drives in was he able to out-drive Geoff Aston.

Bob Howse drove 278 yards and six inches - according to Ken. Was that on the 18th when he just about passed JDR as he was walking on from his second shot?

Doug Havard was so keyed up that, on the fifth, he putted up to within two inches of the hole and just putted out without giving his playing partners a chance to hole out.

Peter Williams, Bart Youll and Alan Yates were disappointed with their opening bogeys on the first two holes and were unable to scramble enough shots to recover,

All of the seniors revel in the fact that they are able to get out on the course and enjoy the fresh air (and occasionally the golf). Mindful of the fact that there are some who cannot enjoy such privileges, the money raised on the raffles is donated to worthy local causes.

Brian Morgan is the driving force behind this and he and Mike Fox cajole members into parting with their cash for these good causes. At this week's meeting, two cheques, each for £200, were presented to local charities.

Sara Alderman joined the group and was pleased to receive the first cheque on behalf of the Paul Sartori Fund. The second cheque was received by Simon Rossiter and Chris Brace on behalf of the Gareth Scotcher Trust Fund.

Following the presentations, everyone sat down to a chip meal, with crackers, hence the plastic toys and paper hats. This was the second meal enjoyed by the seniors. The first was a turkey dinner enjoyed by all on Friday night. The Friday night do was such a joyous occasion that John Heyhoe, in his rush to catch his taxi, walked off with the wrong coat. Even his wife did not notice! Of course, when they arrived home ,he couldn't find his keys and had to retrieve a spare from a hidden location.

It wasn't until the following morning that he realised his mistake and has spent most of his time since asking people if they have lost a coat.

This week's raffle was won by Dave Morgan, with Ron Murphy, Peter Williams, Brian Waters and Philip Marsden scooping the residue.

Texas Scramble winners were: 1. Russell Clark, Tony Ranoe, John Beecher with 56; 2. Martin Neilan, Dave Miller, Philip Marsden with 59 (Bob Howse, Ken Gouldsbrough, Doug Havard and Brian Morgan, Ray Ford and Dudley Williams were also on 59).

Seniors' guest for the day was club secretary, David Hancock, who presented the prizes for the best gross and best net scores in this first eclectic competition.

Prior to the presentation, Jim Martin provided members with some of the facts and figures on this year's competition, played over seven outings, and explained that 16 errors had been made on the computer. As a result of such erroneous entries, there would be stringent checks made in the second round. Be warned!

Gross scores: 1. Richard Davies 66; 2. Stan Hudson 70; 3. Paul Nixon.

Net scores: 1. Paul Nixon 54; 2. Dudley Williams 55; 3. Bart Youll 56.

Chicken nightmare

Poor John Beechley has probably been having nightmares this week.

Why? Well last Friday, he romped home in the weekly Chicken Trot by some considerable margin.

Nothing wrong with that, you might say. No, not really, but apparently when he asked Chief Chicken Morran Boot what his handicap would be for the next outing of the brood, the leader declined to tell him.

"He probably wouldn't have slept, if I'd told him", remarked a smiling Morran, after confirming that he would be deep in.... the sin bin.

We have also been sworn to secrecy, but can reveal that his winning score was a highly impressive 28 points, six more than his nearest rival Richard Morgan - yes that man again.

And what's more, John also bagged one of the two 2s recorded on the day - the other being netted by, yes that man again, Richard Morgan.

Indeed, the pair almost made a clean sweep of the winnings, the only interloper being Mike Fox, who claimed the booby prize, as unluckily for him, your correspondent had to cry off from proceedings last week due to other commitments... or was it lessons with the pro?

Eight Chickens in all left the hutch to do battle on the links, with par for the day being returned at 20 - looks like a tough few weeks ahead for the winner on his new handicap!

Results: 1. John Beechley 28 pts (£1); 2. Richard Morgan 22 (40p). Twos - John Beechley and Richard Morgan (30p each); booby - Mike Fox (30p entry fee returned).

Today (Friday), the Chickens will be in festive mood, as the competition will be followed by the annual Christmas lunch.

Monthly medal

Leading scores and prize winners in the December monthly medal on Saturday were:

Division One (30 competitors): Matthew Moseley 69-0-69 (medal plus £34); Allan Morton 80-8-72 (£24); Ian Thomas 84-11-73 (£12).

Division Two (48 competitors): Dafydd Evans 88-18-70 (medal plus £34); John Gillespie 86-15-71 (£24); Ralph Johns 86-13-73 (£12).

Twos: Robin Bradbury, Richard Davies, Ralph Johns, Anthony Key, Colin Murphy, Robert Willcox, Alan Yates (£11.14 each).

Bag draw: Rob Willcox, Adam Joseph, Austin Davies, Matthew Moseley, Robin Bradbury (£15 each).

Handicap changes: Dafydd Evans 18 to 17; John Gillespie 15 to 14; Allan Morton 8 to 7; Andrew Morton 8 to 9; Philip Mumford 14 to 15; Colin Murphy 9 to 10; Richard Ormond 12 to 13.