Sir,

So our Rosie has been singing Tenby's praises to Her Majesty the Queen, who has indicated an interest in paying us a visit soon. Heaven help us!

Her Majesty should be warned that, if she chooses to come 'out of season', she will be hard pressed to find a public toilet open, unless, of course, she pops into the bookies, but she will need to put a bet on first. I suppose Philip could always 'go' behind a bush or a rock, but he would have something to say about that, no doubt.

If the Queen's chauffeur should decide to park the royal limo upstairs in the multi-storey car park, I'm sure he would be less than impressed with the state of the entrance and stair wells. He would definitely need to keep his gloves on and hold his nose.

Should the royal car process up Crackwell Street and through the Norton area, I hope the Queen's attention will be diverted towards Goscar Rock so that she does not have to look at the continuing eyesore of the Royal Gatehouse site. Nor will we, her devoted subjects, be able to line the route as there is only a pathway on one side. Let us hope, too, that the Albany Hotel will have its flags out so that she doesn't have to wonder at the sorry state of the former Magistrates' Court building.

Should Philip fancy some fish and chips from Upper Park Road, I hope he will not be put off by the dangerous state of the brightly painted building opposite, unless, of course, it has finally fallen down by then.

I hope, too, that it doesn't rain during the Queen's visit, because with Woolworths closed, where else is there to go in Tenby when the weather is bad? There are no longer any shelters at North Beach and the one recently constructed below the Esplanade has no roof covering!

However, no doubt the council gardeners will have done their usual fabulous job of planting up our main flower displays, so perhaps it is worth Her Majesty coming, if only to see their expertise.

Rosie is a wonderful ambassador for Tenby, but, sadly, the reality does not live up to the hype. But give us a year or two...

Janice Gryckiewicz,

Tenby.