A bit chilly around the extremities early on last Friday morning, frost on the grass and fingers that became a little numb as they gripped the putter. Then the sun managed to peep through for a while, and considering that last year at this time we had snow - quite a nice morning.

Just 10 well-wrapped chickens trotted; the usual early birds obviously stayed in their warm beds - and why not?

This week, the Chief Chicken forgot his walking stick. He did remember to bring a parasol, however, which assisted his walking, but did absolutely nothing for his image! He counted the corn, ate his toasted teacakes and sipped his medicinal scotch while Steve collated and calculated. After wiping the excess sticky jam from the result sheet, I can report the following results.

In second place, with a very creditable 28 points - including a gross eagle on the 14th - was Newman Vincent. He received encouragement in the form of £1 and punishment in the form of a three-stroke penalty.

Peter (Pedro) Ellis, having not swung a club for three weeks, started his round in a competent, but not high scoring manner. He gradually improved and over the last few holes, he dominated the course, finishing birdie, eagle, par to score a winning 29 points. Gratefully clutching his £1:20 winnings, he barely noticed the loss of five strokes from his trotters' handicap.

Only one two was recorded, by Mike Fox on the sixth, earning him a massive 50p.

Sadly, somebody has to bring up the rear, and this week it was Paul Davies. He claims that his poor performance was due to the absence of his normal playing companion, Neil Dickinson, who apparently brings out the best in him!

The Chief Chicken wishes to draw your attention to the Christmas competition and lunch attendance list now prominently displayed on the notice board. You have until December 16 to book your place at the premier social event of the season.

I would like to comment on the parlous state of the Chicken treasury. The account for last Friday reads:

Income - 10 trotters at 30p = £3

Expenditure - one prize at £1.20, one prize at £1, one prize at 50p, one prize at 30p = £3.

We are in a worse state than Greece and Italy!

Today's (Friday's) chicken trot coincides neatly with Derek Bath's 80th birthday. There will doubtless be champagne for all and much backslapping is expected!

See you there!

M.F.