The old adage of 'You can't keep a good old 'un down' certainly came true last week when Kilgetty Golf Society invaded Haverfordwest Golf Club, as Barry 'Chippy' Wood overcame all opposition to take the Blue Riband. He was no less pleased than had he won the Green Jacket at Augusta! He played like an ageing 'Tiger'! Overnight rain caused some concern, but Wednesday dawned dry and bright, ready made for a fun day of golf. So 20 faithful members bundled their clubs into their cars and headed up the A40 deep into 'Longneck' territory! First tie was booked for 10 am, but before this was threatened, a very welcome breakfast of bacon rolls and caffeine - we all needed this - saturated coffee had to be consumed. This done, 'Woody' was heard to shout, allegedly as far away as Canaston Bridge, "Let's play golf" and off we went. Who'd dare not to! First off - bang on schedule - was the formidable trio of Len 'Corrie' Fairclough (on his pins), Tom 'Evergreen' Pritchard with his pal Jim 'Pumps' Hinchliffe (both comfortably seated in a buggy). Was there a message in this Lennie? Hope not! Hot on their heels was Richard 'Nelson' Davies, dragging his 'galleon' behind him, playing with our two most successful golfers, Rick 'Putterless' Lewis and Gareth 'Gateau' Phillips. Unfortunately, it was not their day. 'Nelson' remarked that his crew let him down! However, Rick did win the longest drive with an enormous shot down the 12th fairway. Committee please inspect his 'weapon'! Third trio out were John 'The Hulk' James, Mark 'Woody' Wood (that's my boy - sometimes, on other occasions, he's his mother's!) and Neil 'Mighty Mouse' Evans. A mediocre round for this power-packed team. Next to drive down the first were Adrian 'Lightning' Alman, Roy 'Grumpy' Good and Barry 'Chippy' Wood. It was sure our lucky day as between us we had first, second and team awards. Didn't we do well! Fifth out were Terry 'Hippo' Harvey, John 'Homer' Perrott and new member Steve 'Raffle' Oulsman - welcome to the madhouse, hope you enjoyed the day. Pity about the golf! Sixth team off was Lee 'Larnie' Lewis, Keith 'Luke' Warmington and big Don 'Millionaire' Abbot, who set a course record in scoring 11 (yes eleven) stableford points. Mixed fortunes today - message received loud and clear. Driving off next were Daryl 'Rods' Jones, Phil 'Sheepskin' Rugg and Garry 'O'Gazmik' Hopkins (an adopted Irishman who thinks the more shots the better!). A round best not talked about. Never mind, eh! The next two teams consisted of four players each - first of which were Eddie 'The Angel' Mutch, Trevor 'Santa' Lewis, Mal 'Water Leak' Davies and Glyn 'Shots' Jones. Did reasonably well, they did. Last, but by no means least, were Tim 'Gavel' Davies, Pat 'Postie' Casement, Kenny 'Drains' Badham and back again - son of 'Hippo' - Thomas 'The Flag' Harvey. They had an enjoyable round of golf. After taking a shower and anointing ourselves with deodorant, we headed for the clubhouse, where, after a pint or two, we took our places to partake of a superbly prepared beef or pork roast followed by apple crumble with custard or ice cream. What a feast! It was certainly enjoyed by all. Having filled the inner man. 'Woody' teed off the formalities by thanking Haverfordwest Golf Club for hosting the day, commenting on the great condition of the course, which drew thundrous applause. He also thanked the caterers for the delicious meal they set before us. He then thanked the ever-faithful for their unstinting support. He welcomed Steve 'Raffle' Oulsman to our ranks and hoped to see him at the forthcoming events. After a few anecdotes, which cannot be repeated in a family newspaper, the prizes were awarded to the following: 1. Barry 'Chippy' Wood 38 pts (on countback); 2. Adrian 'Lightning' Alman 38; 3. Keith 'Luke' Warmington 37. Wooden Spoon with an all time low 11 pts: Don 'Millionaire' Abbott - last seen heading hotfoot down the road to try his luck at 'Frisby Golf'! Sorry chum, but you really must learn to take the ribbing. Nearest the pin: Tom 'Evergreen' Pritchard. Longest drive: Rick 'Putterless' Lewis (some strike). Best OAP: Barry 'Chippy' Wood. Over 20 handicap: Keith 'Luke' Warmington. Team winners: Adrian 'Lightning' Alman, Roy 'Grumpy' Good and Barry 'Chippy' Wood with a combined 104 pts. In conclusion, 'Chippy' stressed how important it was to be at each venue at least 30 minutes before first teeing-off time so as to ease the pressure. If this is not possible on the day, please phone 'Woody' (mobile) and let him know in plenty of time, or face the possibility of being scratched. Hope it doesn't come to that. Don't give up - and please keep supporting us. It's all good fun. See you soon.
B.J.A.W.