Sir, It was good that you permitted the publication of the letter from a distant relative of mine in your newspaper last week. I think Mr Pen-Nib was correct in trying to bring a bit of joy, a bit of fun to the town. He is a great believer in the psychology of fun and its well known capacity to cure.

Regrettably, however, his letter did not offer much by way of practical alleviation. Laugh your head off by all means, as he recommends, but I think Tenby townsfolk seek just a little bit more in tangible help.

It may seem a little pompous of me to try to better his efforts, but these are serious times. Have readers tried hibernation? You know; go to sleep now and re-awake when the sun is shining and Boris has called of the state of emergency. Never had to wash one’s hands during this self-imposed sleep either.

Readers I know will be fascinated imagining themselves as hedgehogs, but this is actually a very well known, and established technique by humans of turning one’s back on the storm outside. Eskimos do it, and you should try. Start with a heavy lunch, a few glasses of claret. By 2.30 pm you will be away, then try to stop that way ’til you hear the church bells ringing.

Readers will be interested to know that the Pen family originate from Derbyshire and in fact from very close to the Dales village of Eyam where one of the most spectacular tragedies of the Great Plague took place. 1665 it was, and the nation was in big panic. Eyam was naturally secluded from the hustle of the cities and managed to avoid the curse. Did their social isolating and a crowd could never exceed two persons. The tattoo artists and bookmaker premises were closed, shut down, just like here in Tenby.

Goods delivered to the village would be left at the farm gate. Pennies needed to settle the bills would be left on top of the gateposts having been pre-washed in vinegar, for vinegar was the great steriliser of the time. Eyam villagers were doing well.

Then one day the village tailor took delivery of a bundle of cloth, the stock of his trade. Unfortunately, it was infected with the plague virus. For Eyamites it was curtains. Many died.

I write this to re-inforce Boris’s directions on cleanliness and isolation, but if by now you think this present regime may not be the answer, then to try a bit of hibernation may appeal.

As an historical and topical footnote, 1666 saw the Great Fire of London. It burnt off the cause of the Great Plague in London and though millions had died and many houses destroyed, it was a time of great rejoicing. (So I read) a happy ever after kind of story.

My problem today, of course, is the rapid growth of hair on top of my head. With barber shops closed I am rapidly turning into a bit of a Teddy Boy. Have improvised some bootlace neckties, have re-cut my jeans to drainpipe and am now searching crepe-soled bovver boots to complete the kit. No luck so far.

There are real problems which cannot be laughed off. Mr Pen-Nib please note.

Mr. Quill-Pen,

Name and

address supplied.