It was just a casual conversation whilst on holiday but it got me thinking. “People don’t seem to say ‘Thank you’ very much these days,” she observed, and I began to ask myself if that explains why people seem so unhappy today. For there does seem to be a direct link between our willingness to say thank you and our ability to be happy.

Two of my colleagues have written extensively about this, and I would heartily recommend you get a copy of their super little publication ‘The 8 Secrets of Happiness.’ In fact, Paul Griffiths and Martin Robinson consciously begin their book with a chapter on thankfulness, and this makes me think that it must rank pretty high up in their list of priorities.

And Robinson and Griffiths are not whistling in the dark because they have based their conclusions on the research of two psychologists named Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons who devised a series of experiments to explore the relationship between gratitude and happiness.

In one such experiment for example, they asked just over 100 people to keep a personal journal for some ten weeks. They then split them into three groups each of which was given a distinct task. Group one was told to keep a simple record of all they said and did on each day. In the same way, group two was invited to list all the unpleasant things to happen to them whilst the members of the third group were encouraged to keep a daily catalogue of the things for which they were grateful.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you that they discovered a direct link between the two. In fact, Robert Emmons went so far as to suggest that being thankful can increase our happiness level by around 25 per cent.

But when you stop and think about it experience teaches us a similar lesson. As Robinson and Griffiths say: “A good dose of common sense informs us that if you spend your time thinking upbeat thoughts there will be positive results.”

So why aren’t we as thankful as we could be - and probably ought to be? I suppose it’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves, and all too tempting to focus on the negative things in life. Someone once described this as the ‘black hole’ syndrome. We are instinctively drawn to mistakes and flaws rather than to the good things in life.

That’s why it might do us all good to heed the advice of a song that kids used to sing in Sunday School years ago. “Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.” That’s good advice, but we can do more than this because we really ought to make more of an effort to thank people too. And we can rest assured that in giving we will receive.

Robinson and Griffiths tell us that the legendary Albert Schwiezer clearly understood this because he liked to point out that it is those who have learned to live with grateful hearts who know what it is to truly live. They have ‘penetrated the whole mystery of life.’

So why not get hold of a copy of ‘The 8 Secrets of Happiness?’ You’ll find that it will provide you will a very helpful a list of practical activities which will help you become a more thankful and therefore, much happier person. Oh, and lest I forget, thanks for taking the time to read these whimsical musings, and thanks also to the editorial team at the Pembroke Observer for letting me show you what’s going on in my little grey cells!

Rob James is a Baptist Pastor broadcaster and writer who currently operates as a church and media consultant for the Evangelical Alliance Wales. He is available for preaching and teaching throughout Wales and can be contacted at [email protected]