The president of the Divine GP 14 Fan Club was not impressed by last week's attempt at humour. Perhaps this week's offering will meet with approval. So here goes.
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland, Canada in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the U.S. Chief of Naval Operations on October 10, 1995.
"American: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadian: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadian: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees North, that's one five degrees North, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadian: This is a lighthouse. It's your call."
The social scene programme for the near future is as follows:
THE GREAT JIG-SAW RACE
Tomorrow evening sees the inaugural jig-saw race. As mentioned last week, the formal is very simple. Teams of four or five compete to complete a 500 piece ahead of other participants.
Entrance fee will be £1 per person with the winning team winning a prestigious prize plus public accolade. Master of ceremonies, Mark Dashfield, will ensure fair play and arbitrate in any dispute. If lack of time dictates a decision, Mark will take on the responsibility of declaring the winning team. He does not take bribes!
This promises to be a fun evening with the race commencing at 8 pm. Would members gather at 7.30 pm. There will be food available for the ravenous amongst you.
ST VALENTINE'S DAY SUPPER
This promises to be a culinary experience. Deanna Morton's preparing food to delight the most discerning palate. Why not treat your loved one to a special treat in warm and convivial surroundings. To make you reservation contact Deanna on 844484. All are welcome!
JAZZ BAND
Looking firstly ahead, the Greenhill Jazz band has confirmed the booking on Saturday, March 8. Please support these talented youngsters who so freely give of their time to entertain others.
DARTS
Wait for it. We won! The celebration will go on for weeks. You may ask how? The opposing team could not raise a team so they forfeited the game, well it's still a win! This evening we are away to the Sun Inn, St Florence. Participating members please note.
SUBSCRIPTIONS
Again, a reminder to members that annual subscriptions are due. Please contact membership secretary, Sheila Spiller on 812325 for further details.
Finally, anyone interested in joining this thriving club should contact any member for further details. We look forward to meeting you.
GP14