Perhaps it wasn't too many birdies so much as how many balls were lost to the 'birdies'. Quite a few is the answer, as 45 seniors took to the course on Tuesday. The ravens were out in force, or so it seemed, since a number of players fell foul to these predators who take a fancy to golf balls at certain times of the year.

Martin Neilan was quite put out. One bird flew down and picked up his ball on the third, only to drop it in favour of Bart Youll's ball five yards away. It then decided to drop that and pick up and fly off with Brian Waters's ball, lying close by. Martin wondered what was wrong with his ball, to be rejected in this way. It put him off his game resulting in a score of 36. As this was a Chapman Foursomes competition, it was not quite good enough.

Another to lose a ball to the ravens was John Cook (he who will be seventy n--e next week) who saw his shiny yellow ball disappear out towards Goscar firmly clasped in a bird's beak. Colin Griffith and Des Stone suffered in similar manner on the fourth.

Caught in a heavy shower J.C. had taken out his waterproofs and, in the process of putting them on, lost his cap. He was so distressed that Colin drove back in the buggy to try and find it, but without any success. Even the following group had not seen it. It did come to light a few holes later. Like the little magician he is on the golf course, he discovered it... up his sleeve!

You might be forgiven for thinking that it would put him off his game. Not so, he and Stan managed to string together a run of good scores, despite some errant driving from Stan and almost-putts from John. He even out-drove Stan on three or four holes. If the percentage of putts had been higher, they would have challenged for the lead.

The computer had thrown up some other good combinations, such as captain Bob and the money monster (Nigel Rimell), but they could only match Martin and Brian's score of 36, as did Paul Bradley and Mike Fox. Richard Davies and Dave Miller improved on that, but still found themselves outside the money stakes.

With the tee well forward on the fourth hole, Nigel had climbed the hill to get a better view. When he came down to take his shot, he discovered Tony Morgan's bag ahead of him on the fairway. Head down, drive off hard and low and, yes, you've guessed it, straight into Tony's bag. Unfortunately, Tony's new glasses were in one of the pockets and Murphy's law came into operation. The ball had made contact with the bridge of the glasses and bent it slightly. Oops!

Shot of the day was awarded to Jim Martin, who chipped in from the rough on the third to score a three, net two, adding a valuable five points to his, and Paul Nixon's, score. Not to be outdone, Tony Morris did the same, but on the 16th for a five. Unfortunately, Tony's playing partner was unable to attend, due to ill health, so he just improved on his eclectic score.

"What's happened to the computer?" wailed Ken Gouldsbrough as he came through the door. A breakdown in communications meant that the computer had been unplugged for repairs in the office and could not be used.

It was noted that Jim Taylor's trolley had faded around the 15th hole. It must have been as weary as Jim, so Tony Ranoe took pity and helped him push it in. That was their excuse for only scoring 27. Also failing to reach 30 were Geoff Aston and Bob Wiseman, Peter Woodhouse and Roy Gundry and Alan Yates and Derek Bath.

Special mention must be given to Brian Morgan and Mike Munroe who provided the foundation for the rest of the players. They struggled (Brian's words) to score four points on the front nine, but did return with 16 on the back nine. "We were having a poor day," moaned Brian. He is the first recipient of a special booby prize donated by Martin Neilan. The prize - a book entitled 'A golfer's book for geeks'. The idea is that it can be presented each week to the player or players who deserve it.

Brian was delighted to raise £48 for charity, with prizes going to Richard Davies and Brian Waters.

Twos were scored by, Des Stone/ Colin Griffith, Richard Davies/Dave Miller, Ken Gouldsbrough/Ray Ford, Richard Chapman/Bart Youll and Bob Howse /Nigel Rimell.

This week's glorious winners were Tony Morgan and John Hall (42pts), followed by Stan Hudson and John Cook (39) and Jim Martin and Paul Nixon (39). Just missing out were Richard Davies and Dave Miller, also on 39 pts.

Junior section

Last Sunday's stableford competition was a very close thing between Joonas Jaakola and Luke Harries, who tied on 38 points, with Joonas coming out on top, but not until a countback on the back nine that went to the final three holes. Well done boys and well done to all the players.

Olivia Bradbury came out on top off the red boxes with a very good 36 points, while Jonny Birt triumphed off the black boxes with an excellent 24 points for a two-shot reduction in his handicap.

Could parents remember that the Christmas party list is up and the entertainment is confirmed. On the day (Sunday, December 13), we are going to run a competition for all the juniors who put their names down for the party. It will be over nine holes and will involve teams of three mixed from all three categories. 

We are still looking for ideas for a team name to rival the Tigers, Rabbits and the Divots, so put your thinking caps on and ideas in the box please.

Prizes as always are in the Professional shop for the winners of each category.

This Sunday is the monthly stableford competition.

Chickens and ducks

Facing miserable conditions and the forecast of torrential rain to come, most Chicken Trotters decided to keep their feathers dry and stay in the hutch last Friday.

A few did venture out to do battle with the early morning elements, but not enough to consitute a competition and therefore there are no winners to report for you this time.

Let's hope for improved conditions this week, but if the forecast is anything to go by, then the Trotters might seriously have to consider changing their name... to something appertaining to ducks!